Do You Appreciate Your Own Beauty?

I remember when I became a big fan of Essence Magazine. I was about 18 or 19 years old. I felt fortunate that I had access to a magazine that depicted beautiful black women wearing beautiful clothes!  These women spoke to me, showing their independence, their intelligence and their style. I could barely wait each month for my new issue and I used to flip through each issue from cover to cover.  I didn't necessarily read it from cover to cover because earlier on, I was just a bit more interested in the makeup and fashion than the stories and information.  I probably was searching in vain for a representation of myself in those issues of Essence, because, even though the women were black, they all were glamourous and beautiful and I wasn't.  There was one advertisement in particular--a Fashion Fair ad--that I can say ruined my life!  She was advertising their plum lipstick and was wearing shades of plum or purple.  Her hair was big and straight and black, her complexion was medium brown and perfect.  Her eyes were slightly slanted and beautiful. Her lips were smooth and flawless and very plum.  Essence was selling this image as beautiful back in 1979, and I bought it, lock stock and barrel!  The problem was that whenever I looked in my mirror, I didn't see anything like this image of beauty that became stuck in my impressionable mind.  So I decided subconsciously that I didn't measure up and absolutely never could!  This sent me on a very negative down spiral--always bashing myself in the back of my mind (and in the front).  I just felt inadequate.  My life should have been perfect because when I was a young girl, my simple dreams to marry and have children came true. I married my first husband when I was twenty and had a son a year later!  I also planned to work at the public library and actually did get a job there when I was 19 years old. I should have been happy, but I wasn't. I blame it on Essence Magazine and my inmaturity. 
 Looking back now, those images of glamour that were meant to empower black women, demoralized me! I took it all wrong, because I didn't include myself in the scheme of black, beautiful and glamourous.  So I lived my life as one who believed she couldn't measure up.  I didn't do alot to beautify myself.  I didnt learn what were my best colors--in makeup or clothing. I didn't experiment with natural hairstyles enough to find the one that looked best on me. In other words, I didn't do me!!
I finally and slowly woke after 20 plus years! Maturity set in and I gained a new understanding of life.  I have slowly crawled out of the "ugly" box that I put myself in and have started to learn what works for me! Better late than never, but much better early!  It was a long and very hard road, but I finally learned that beauty comes in many faces, shapes, and colors and truly, no one type is beautiful over another!

Length Check

Hello naturals! It's been awhile since I posted about my hair.  As you know, I trimmed my hair about a month or so ago and went on and on about how much I love how my ends are now.  So I decided that now is a good time to start monitoring my hair growth.  I'm going to be doing length checks on a regular basis to see if all is well. I'll measure my hair at my  forehead, ear, and neck. I wont be pulling out a tape measure though!  My hair has always grown faster at the top of my head and at my neckline and slowest at middle of my head and at my temples. It's kind of midway in the front.  Anyway, I did a few tests and here are the pics.

I had just washed my hair and it was wild and uncombed!  What can I say! It's been fun watching my hair do its thing and I'm so glad that I can now appreciate MY hair. CNapps (another link in my sidebar at Nappturology 101) and everything, my hair is beautiful just as it is.  I'm thankful to realize and accept that now because before even though I was natural, I didn't accept my thick, kinky, shrunken hair at all!  I know some of you can relate.

 I have been covering my hair with scarves and slathering on the coconut/shea butter concoction I made for it.  My work environment is especially drying to my hair so I very seldom expose my hair at work. I sometimes wonder what they think about my wearing hats and scarves all the time. My work environment is very casual and I don't deal with the public. Anyway, whatever!  Its about protecting my hair at all costs, even beauty y'all!!!  Those hats ain't that cute.  At the right time, I can unfurl my beautiful, healthy, well cared for and properly protected hair and dress up and look cute then! lol

Thanks, Sister Abena!

Hey Ladies, I was featured on sister Abena's blog, Girl, It's Not Just You, as one of her Real Beauties! Her concept of "Real Beauty of the Week" is so good because she shows black women that we are beautiful just as we are and that our beauty is ours and can't be compared with others' beauty.   Her blog also speaks to women about the body and beauty issues that we tend to make too much of.  We still tend to worry unnecessarily about our bodies and Sister Abena helps us to see that we're not the only ones because definitely, other women have those same "issues".  It's nice reading the comments that other sisters make--it's reassuring when a sister talks about her own feelings on any of those great subjects.  I found her blog when she wrote a post about "Striae" or stretch marks.  I'm thinking, wow, this sister is definitely real and  her approach to this subject is one I had never encountered.  What I had read about stretch marks was limited to trying to get rid of them with coco butter! Sister Abena also talks about E.N.A. (go to her blog and find out)!  This is another of the many issues we needlessly worry about!  I think Abena's blog is very timely and I'm very glad that I found her.  Again, Thank you Sister Abena, for the encouragement!

I Lost the Weight, Now What Should I Do!?!

I recently shared with all of you that I lost some weight. I felt really good about it because I have been slim all of my life and even skinny as a kid.  I had gotten up to 170 pounds which is a huge amount since I have weighed 115 in my twenties and was steady at 145 or so in my late thirties and early forties.  I must say that I have enjoyed eating good food and when I recently got remarried I added Nigerian food to my yum list. 
So I steadily climbed to this high weight of 170 and I was closely watching my scale saying to myself I cannot
go over 170 pounds!  So I stopped eating as much as before and started walking a little bit and the weight just melted off!  Great, right?  Wrong!  My husband is not so happy!  I weighed myself this morning and I'm at 159 and as far as he's concerned, looking like a stick figure!  He actually told me just yesterday that I have "dried off"  I said, "What are you talking about, dried off?"  He said, "There's no fat on you anywhere anymore!"  "You're getting smaller by the day!"  With a hint of dismay in his voice.
Ladies, I have only lost about 10 or so pounds!  What's up with this, I wonder?  Should I put the weight back on with some Dreyers French Vanilla Ice Cream with the vanilla bean specks (which I love) or even Dulce de Leche Ice Cream (any brand). Or should I go back to Appleby's especially now that they have the 2 for $20 meal deals?  I don't want my husband to see me as a stick figure!  What in the world to do?  Help! ;-)

This is beginning to look like some kind of conspiracy on his part!!
;-D

Healthy trimmed hair

It has been about 2 weeks since I trimmed the ends of my hair.  I was very hesitant about doing so because I had been having a hard time keeping my hair properly moisterized.  I felt why should I trim and then have my hair dry out on the ends again?  Then I tried using coconut oil to protect and moisterize my hair and have been having great success!  So I went ahead and trimmed about 3/4 of an inch off of the twists that I had been wearing.  I am happy about the results.  My hair looks and feels so much better than before.  My twists look so much healthier even though they are shorter, and my afro puff looks better as well.  I can comb my puff out more without having to pat it down so much just to shape it. 
The pictures below are of my hair after shampooing and conditioning with Trader Joe's products, so it still slightly wet and uncombed and completely shrunken.  My hair shrinks about 100% of its length, maybe even more! I have classic CNapp hair! Then the other pictures are after putting my shea butter coconut oil blend in and double strand twisting. 

I actually took all these pictures in the same setting. Those pictures where my hair looks so red are the close ups that my camera didnt do an automatic flash, so the lighting is just from the bathroom light.
So all in all I'm very happy and satisfied with the results of the trim and how healthy my hair looks, and will make sure to trim my hair regularly.  What I need to do now is find another hairstyle to add to my repetoire!  Afro puff and those 15 twists is slightly tired!

Cleansing Reactions

I have been drinking an herbal tea that is called Every Day Detox by linkTraditional Medicinals and it contains ginger, black pepper and linkSchisandra fruit. The tea has a nice taste and its effect has been good for me.  I  believe that the tea has reduced my cravings for junk food and  I have lost weight as a result of that.  The information on the side of the box says that this tea promotes healthy liver function as well as digests fats and promotes digestion by aiding in the manufacture of bile.(These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure of prevent any disease)

 What I have learned about certain herbs that cleanse impurities from our bodies is that in the cleansing process, the herb may produce what is called a cleansing reaction. This means that the body is getting rid of the impurities that have accumulated over a period of time and you start to see results such as: gas, bad breath, pimples, body odor, headaches, etc. In other words, the herb is working!   Many times people who don't understand these reactions see them as a bad thing and stop the cleansing process in fear.  The best thing to do is to go slowly with the herb so as to lessen the effect of the reaction and speak with a professional herbalist or knowledgeable person. 

Of course we must go forward cautiously and do our research.  It's not a good idea to start taking herbs without knowing what effect the herbs have.  God has given us these natural health aids and it's our responsibility to seek an expert in herbal remedies.  These herbs are powerful, they are potent with the power to heal or harm if used improperly. There are many books on the market and you can check out your neighborhood health food store or go online and do further research.

I haven't had any major cleansing reactions as a result of drinking this tea, but I don't drink it everyday, even though they recommend it.  I already have issues with combination skin and I don't want to make it any worse than necessary!  So I will continue to use this tea and others that will work for me in my journey to a healthier life and lifestyle!
Blessings

Shea Butter and Coconut Oil Blend

Well I finally clipped about 1/2 inch off my ends when I had my hair in two-strand twists. It's easier to trim one's hair when it's in small braids or double-strand twists.  Well, I then took my hair down and washed and condtioned it with my Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Shampoo and Conditioner.  My hair was very happy to be taken down from the style of flat twists in front and two-strand twists in the back.  After two weeks, it was starting to lock up! 

I made a natural blend to try on my hair that's simply 1 part shea butter and 1/2 part coconut oil.  This blend is very nourishing for my hair, it keeps moisture in longer and protects my hair as well.  The coconut oil in this blend helps to slightly loosen my nap pattern and softens my hair which makes it a bit easier to comb through. This is the hair regimen that works best for me.

I've done a little research on the benefits of coconut oil and what I found lets me know that this natural product is a keeper!  As for shea butter, we know that this natural product is just as good!
Blessings

Time to trim my split ends

Today I will trim about 1/2 inch off my ends and get my hair back into proper condition.  Now that I've found the moisturizer that works for me, which is coconut oil, I don't have to worry about trimming ends that end up splitting again!  Before the coconut oil, I thought, what's the point in trimming my hair when it's going to still be dry and still split on the ends?  So I hung on to those sad split ends.  Unfortunately, they became split middles!  This is really sad when your hair splits along the middle of the hair shaft.

I thought if I held on to those split ends, I wouldn't have to worry about creating new split ends.  But what happens is the split can travel up the hair shaft and truly damage it. I've already tested this with one hair strand. I was able to pull it apart into two half strands up the entire strand! Not good.  So trimming my ends on a regular basis is one of the necessary strategies for my hair's health.  In the short term, my hair will be shorter. :-(  But in the long term, my hair will grow healthy and strong and then I can watch it grow long as possible which is my goal.  So to those ratty ends you see in these pictures, I'm saying goodbye!

More Fashion Finds

Cole Haan.com

Old Navy.com

Well, I went out to my special place and found some more goodies!  I have to post these also. I love these simple classic style items because they don't go out of style and that is the best way to remain fashionable for cheap!  Just take good care of your treasures and they will last you a very long time.  I went to the Cole Haan website to see if I could find these sandals, but I didn't.  They are probably many moons old but as you can see, in perfect shape because Cole Haan has very good quality products.  I can't afford to shop there directly, though so I will settle for this find!  ;-D.  I see myself becoming a classic fashion junkie or a Goodwill shopaholic!  Jacket: 7.99 unused (you can find unused items often); Sandals: 6.99. What can I say?  I'm having too much fun!  This is just like treasure hunting the way we did when we were kids.  These inexpensive fashion finds  are helping me to be a stylish dresser, and that's all good!
PS: a tip for those who might try Goodwill shopping--go to one in a middle class, upper middle class neighborhood (no offense intended)  Goodwill.com
Happy Shopping!

I Lost Some Weight!

All my life, I've been slender.  Some people called it skinny!  I'm 5'5" and when I was twenty years old, I weighed 115 lbs, and at twenty five years old until I was about 35 I weighed about 120 lbs give or take.  From my late 30s until I reached 41 or 42 I worked my way up to 145 lbs, because I worked in downtown San Francisco and was surrounded by boulangeries, bakeries, McDonalds, Wendys, Jack-in-the-box, Quiznos, and Subways, plus the Chinese and Mexican restaurants!  But when I got remarried to my husband, who's an excellent cook of Nigerian food, plus his encouragement, I ended up at 160 lbs. I wasn't finished because I struggled between 160 and 164, then 162 and 166, then finally :-(  170lbs.
This had to stop.  I glanced at a picture of myself without my glasses on, and didn't recognize my own self at first glance.  I certainly was wider than my image of myself in my head.  I've always seen myself as slim, and that picture woke me up!  Soooo, these past two weeks, I have been eating less than I normally do.  Im so busy blogging, that I put off eating.  I started walking for about 25 minutes most days. I've been drinking herbal teas. And lo and behold, I have lost about 8 lbs these past 2 or 3 weeks. 
It's mostly all good!  As a small chested woman, I wish I could retain that weight up there and just lose it everywhere else.  Oh well! ;-)

Above: Fat or pleasingly plump

Below: Skinny or slender